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2. Happy couples delight in surprising one another

If the human need for variation is not met, it will KILL your long-term connection. How can you keep things exciting when you've known someone for years?

Take them by surprise! No, you should not buy a new car to surprise your spouse. The best surprises are those that include your thoughtfulness. Fortunately, the small things matter.

As an example:

• Saying "I love you" out of nowhere.
• Unexpected presents and low-cost outings.
• Helping others with household duties.
• Giving a massage for free.

It's the simple things that count! Each one adds a different flavour to your relationship's formula. If you ignore this one, the surprise you receive one day may not be nice.

When things go wrong, they immediately look at themselves

Healthy couples are excellent at holding each other to account. This is achievable for one essential reason: everyone holds themselves accountable first. Try continually keeping an equal partner accountable while never taking responsibility for yourself.

This pathetic tactic just fosters mutual animosity and defensiveness.

If you want the ability to hold others accountable, you must be willing to expect the same of yourself. This level of personal maturity earns you the respect you deserve.

4. Contented couples learn to converse with "simple" sophistication

It is NOT DIFFICULT to LEARN AND APPLY A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF Sophisticated Communication Skills. In NLP, for example, we know that the majority of communication occurs through three of the five senses. We communicate through images, sounds, and feelings.

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Most people prefer one of these techniques of communication over the others. Love is an expression of communication. As a result, it is essential to send it in the manner in which your spouse wants to receive it. So straightforward!

Vakstrategies

If your love style does not match your partner's, she will not feel appreciated. You'll end up giving love but developing something ELSE.

Gifts, dressing up good and going out, a tidy kitchen, seeing you do something for them are all examples of visible signs of love.

Auditory lovers enjoy hearing sweet and caring expressions.

Hugs, proximity, holding hands, kissing, and other forms of touch are preferred by feeling-oriented partners.

Outside of your partner's modality, communicating love may not even be considered (for your partner). A hug, for example, does not mean as much to a visual lover as seeing evidence. In fact, persistent clinging may make you feel suffocated.

Allow your partner to see, hear, and feel you. If you don't know what your partner prefers, ask!

5. Happy couples are first and foremost friends

A good marriage begins with friendship before it becomes a family. Why? Because, on average, people choose friends to family.

The evidence for this is quite compelling. In its real-time happiness poll, the Mappiness App received more than 3 million replies. The findings clearly demonstrated that participants were significantly happier in the company of friends than in the company of family. Friends made people happier than marriages, and they even outperformed "other family."

People in origin families are accustomed to opposing one another, becoming upset, rolling their eyes, fighting, sneaking around, and feeling oppressed. That is the truth. Families are frequently boiling pots of pain.

If you are friends initially, your primary relationship or marriage does not have to be like this. Good friends are less prone to be disrespectful to one another. You are more likely to respect limits if you are buddies.

Many couples make the fatal mistake of delving too deeply and too quickly into a young relationship. By doing so, you forego the opportunity to build a friendship and instead create another family member.

6. Be gentle

Gentleness has the potential to improve your relationship. Indeed, the Gottman Institute, a marital research leader, argues that being kind is the most important factor in determining the success of your relationship.

Are you kind to your spouse? If you don't, you're only adding to the hurt and animosity. Hurt and bitterness do not simply disappear in the absence of reconciliation. Resentment will rear its ugly head one day.

Surprisingly, many of us mistake tenderness for indulgence. We believe that if we are kind, we must put up with rudeness, abuse, laziness, and so on.

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Not to do

You can be kind while yet demanding respect, holding people accountable, and enforcing punishments. Being polite is, in fact, a considerably more effective manner of demanding respect.

Are you determined to be happy or unhappy?

The real fact is that your subconscious mind is not as invested in your happiness as you are. It could be holding reasons for clinging to familiar unhappiness, known as psychological attachments.

To put the above concepts into action, you may need to identify and eliminate your self-sabotage tendencies. This eliminates the instinctive propensity to accept the uncomfortably familiar.